Michael Lohan

As we told you last week, 48-year-old Michael Lohan has offered his sometimes-estranged self up for auction in service to a good cause. Mr. Lohan invited interested parties to bid on the opportunity to face him in a three-round boxing match at the annual Long Island Fight For Charity, and he has finally found his opponent, according to Newsday.

The lucky winner? Robert Venero, the 40-year-old president and CEO of Future Tech Enterprise in Holbrook, Suffolk County. Mr. Venero, who is paying $20,000 to participate in the match, told the press, "I figured they were going to put me up against some overweight middle-aged CEO." Alas, no such luck!

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Michael Lohan has written a scare quote-heavy email to gossipy X17 calling Samantha Ronson "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity." Mr. Lohan adds, "What's with this 'person?' Look at the way she 'dresses?'" [P6] 

Meanwhile, Ms. Lohan confirmed yeserday that she and Ronson have been together for "a very long time." [Us Weekly]

In other stage-parent news, Lynn Spears is jealous—er, indignant—that Sarah Palin "became celebrated" for her teen daughter's pregnancy, while her pregnant teen, Jamie Lynn, was "crucified." [US Weekly]  read more »

The Hills' Whitney Port may have already started her new job working as in-house PR for Diane von Furstenberg. [NY Daily News]

Gotham magazine editor and socialite Cristina Greeven Cuomo is reportedly next in line to make an appearance on Gossip Girl. [P6]  

Jonathan Leitersdorf--real-estate investor and former owner of Noho's Sky Studios, an 11,000 square foot event space where the Seinfelds got married and several episodes of Sex and the City were shot--owns a 178-foot yacht that was just attacked by pirates off the coast of Corsica. The men were carrying "rifles and guns" and made off with $200,000 in cash, jewelry, and art work.  read more »

Saturday, August 2, was a rainy day in the Hamptons. Polo in Bridgehampton was cancelled. The roads were muddy. Our hair got frizzy, and our state of mind was such that we ventured out to Devorah Rose's Social Life Magazine "estate" in Watermill (there's another in Southampton) for a party celebrating the magazine's August issue. The Daily Transom, which is not exactly shy but has a crippling aversion to television cameras, had previously avoided all of Ms. Rose's productions in genuine fear of accidentally ending up on the reality show that has supposedly been filming there this summer.

The invite promised an "exclusive and private guest list" of "celebrities, socialites, jet-setters, and taste-makers.  read more »

Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s pop, talked to the Transom's own Spencer Morgan at length about his troubled relationship with his daughter Lindsay and his also-rocky relationship with God.

He's still trying to patch things up with his family via the press: Mr. Lohan reportedly said yesterday that he wants “reconciliation and redemption—across the board … Just all of us getting right with God.” He went on to tell the AP that he blames himself for Lindsay’s recent troubles, which is new. (Both father and daughter have recently undergone rehabilitation for drugs and alcohol.)

“I made a commitment when I was in there to God and to myself that, when I got out, I was going to do God’s work, and I was going to share with other people what I’ve been through and how God changed my life,” LiLo’s pious pa apparently said.

Lindsay’s Father Hopes for ‘Redemption’ [LA Times]