George Gurley
Articles by George Gurley
Boss Jim Downey
Oct. 14th, 2008, 6:00 pm
Q: For years now, shows like Meet the Press have been broadcasting clips of an SNL sketch, a spoof of political reality, to have a conversation with their audience about the actual political reality. How are you getting to the core ingredients of what’s going on in a way that people like Tom Brokaw can’t seem to articulate?
A: I think they’d like to make sarcastic comments about candidates, but their role as news people prevents that, so I think showing our clips permits them to let us make the point.
I think it would be awkward for even some of the people on cable to be as out-and-out mocking as we can be, and I also think it sort of makes their shows more entertaining—they can do it for free. read more »
How a Welsh Vixen Tamed Derek Smalls' Wild Heart
Oct. 7th, 2008, 7:55 pm
Judith Owen, the Welsh singer-songwriter, actress and wife of comic actor Harry Shearer, was waiting for me inside the Paramount Hotel on a recent dreary Saturday afternoon.
She was on her second coffee and I was running late. My bad!
Had I been meeting, say, Natalie Merchant, I would have been there five minutes early, but I hadn’t seen Ms. Owen perform yet; I didn’t know how talented and funny she was.
I’d met her twice before. The first time was by chance outside Barneys back in 1993. I was with a female mentor, she was with Mr. Shearer, and the four of us were staring at Mr. read more »
Let Me Tell You About My BFF DFW
Sep. 30th, 2008, 8:25 pm
So everyone’s claiming to have been real tight with David Foster Wallace because they played tennis with him, had a class with him, got a book signed by him, did the naughty with him. Seems thousands of people were “pretty tight” with him and they want to make sure you know it.
I’ve hauled my copy of Infinite Jest, published in 1996, in and out of seven apartments I’ve lived in. Never made it past page 3. A few phone numbers scribbled in the back. Never wore a do-rag but had an earring in 10th grade. Took it out after someone made fun of me. read more »
Who Needs Wall Street? Socialites Take Cover at Newly Renovated Hideaway Doubles
Sep. 23rd, 2008, 6:21 pm
Doubles, the exclusive private club in the basement of the Sherry-Netherland Hotel at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street, reopened all spruced up on the evening of Wednesday, Sept. 17. The carpet was new, as were the wall coverings and the crocodile banquettes. Everything was in a rose salmon color. “You glow,” said Doubles chairwoman Wendy Carduner. “Everyone looks superb here. This is the most complementary color.”
As party guests began to trickle in, interior designer Tom Britt, the dapper 68-year-old who started working on the revivification last February with his associate Valentino Samsonadze, was holding court by the dance floor. read more »
My Vice President
Sep. 16th, 2008, 8:15 pm
My very first thought about Sarah Palin? That would be: “I want to have sex with her.” Want to lick that face and drool on it like a dog.
I found an old clip of her on Charlie Rose. Wow, she can sure keep up with Charlie, no problem! Dodged that one nicely. What a delightful nose!
Then during her speech at the convention: No cleavage? No fair. Slurp slurp.
O.K., I’m only going to say this once: Sarah Palin is much better-looking, smarter, wiser and savvier than 99.5 percent of the hysterical New York City liberal chicks whining about “scary” and “mean” Republicans. read more »
Signs of the Apocalypse? Grumpy James Lipton Harumphs As Greg Kinnear Bays at Moon
Sep. 16th, 2008, 7:45 pm
The new warmhearted comedy Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais and Téa Leoni, has all kinds of comforting messages about life and death. Turns out if you get hit by a bus but still have unfinished business on Earth, you get to resolve all your issues with loved ones before a beam of light appears and you fade out blissfully on the way to the next world.
After a Cinema Society screening on Monday, Sept. 15, everyone at the Soho Grand’s courtyard restaurant seemed under the spell of this sweet, hilarious movie. So we decided to bum everyone out by asking if Armageddon was right around the corner. read more »
No Nightmares for Dashing Society Wildebeest
Sep. 2nd, 2008, 9:10 pm
Last May, at a benefit for the Wildlife Conservation Society at the Central Park Zoo, a dapper man came over to bum a smoke. I told him he looked just like Tennessee Williams.
“They all say that,” said Gregory Speck with a Southern accent, then proceeded to tell a story about how when he moved to New York in 1976, he bumped into the playwright in an elevator (“he was so drunk”) and they each did a double take.
The 55-year-old Mr. Speck told me he was an author, celebrity journalist and zoologist, and invited me to see his apartment in the Beresford on Central Park West, which he keeps stocked with his own personal zoo of stuffed wild animals. read more »
Stephanie Goes Bombs-A-Wei From Plane In Lark with Liam McMullan
Aug. 26th, 2008, 6:30 pm
On Saturday, Aug. 23, several hundred people gathered at Stone Meadow Farm, an estate in East Hampton where Mariah Carey recently got hitched, to celebrate the 125th birthday of the American Red Cross. Russell Simmons, whose eponymous jewelry line was one of the evening’s sponsors, told us that it had been the summer of Barack Obama, as well as yoga, the environment, PETA, the Humane Society and fund-raisers (his July 19 Art for Life event raised $1.7 million).
Liam McMullan, the 20-year-old son of photographer Patrick McMullan, and Stephanie Wei were sitting nearby. One night earlier this summer, the two were hanging out at 2 a. read more »
Won’t You Click Your Ruby Slippers, Mayor Mike?
Aug. 12th, 2008, 6:00 pm
Dear Mayor Bloomberg,
You’ve had a good run, been a real successful, under-the-radar-type mayor, and everyone likes you. Well, 70 percent of New Yorkers. Anyway, I’ve never heard anyone say, “Bloomberg, that fascist!”
Unless I missed something, your administration has been pretty squeaky clean. No big scandals, right? I know you’ve given hundreds of millions of your own money away, but you couldn’t have paid off everyone. I like how you still ride the subway, are listed in the phone book and get paid a $1 a year. I can relate.
There’s one thing you could do for me. read more »
Bottoms Up! Or Not; Eliza Dushku Sober at Bottle Shock Premiere
Aug. 5th, 2008, 5:37 pm
At the Southampton after-party on Sunday, Aug. 3, for Bottle Shock, a film about the early days of California wine, there was almost nothing to drink—zero wine, no Champagne, no friendly bartenders offering a free whiskey. Novelist and wine columnist Jay McInerney was shmoozing; he and his wife, Anne Hearst, had hosted a dinner for the cast the night before. A few months ago, I asked Mr. McInerney if it was a good idea to sip red wine all day and he said no, Hemingway ran into some trouble doing that.
Finally I got a glass of rosé, and then spotted Eliza Dushku, who plays a sexy barmaid in Bottle Shock. read more »
Brideshead Regurgitated! Succulent Buttocks Ripe for Plucking at Gramercy Hotel Plover Party
Jul. 29th, 2008, 6:48 pm
“I’m happy to say I’ve danced in fountains, I’ve had strawberries and wine and Champagne, I’ve visited places like Brideshead,” said nightlife duchess Amy Sacco. She was on the roof of the Gramercy Park Hotel after a Cinema Society screening of Brideshead Revisited on Tuesday, July 22. “And I’ve had the unrequited love issues, too.”
Former gossip columnist Lloyd Grove recalled watching the Brideshead miniseries in the early 1980s with friends from Yale and being served plovers’ eggs, just like the ones Lady Marchmain sent Sebastian. Literary agent David Kuhn, who was “gay but not out,” watched it at Harvard’s Spee Club, which was “not gay but gay-ish. read more »
Blame Big Jack! Gurley’s Tuesday Morning E-mail
Jul. 15th, 2008, 6:00 pm
Truth is I don’t cheat, don’t get laid extracurricularly, ever. Against the rules.
Fine with it! It’s been many years since I said good riddance to the occasional late-night hookup and the once-in-a-blue-moon, drug-fueled marathon bang sessions. Three hours nonstop one late night circa 2000. No nonsense. Non. Stop. Sting kind of stamina. Not bragging, just sayin’. Provided her with 9 to 14 orgasms. Me: zero. Downside of Viagra.
Those days are gone, R.I.P., don’t miss it, don’t look back.
Of course, I can draw on those experiences and say, “That happened, I did all that, sowed my wild oats and now I can be dignified, altruistic, focus on lofty ideals, convert to Catholicism. read more »
Hamptons Detox
Jul. 1st, 2008, 7:14 pm
A toxic mixture of dread, fear, panic, paranoia and self-doubt was brewing in my head on my way out to the Hamptons the last weekend in June.
On the train, I sat on a fold-up chair next to the bathroom and listened to the contents of the bowl swish and swirl around, like the economy and the Bush administration. From time to time, I looked up from my novel (about a sleazy opportunistic journalist in late-19th-century Paris), saw baseball caps, tall boys, tattoos, flip-flops, and shuddered. read more »
I had been invited to stay at the large, elegant estate of the interior designer Tom Britt.
George and Hilly: Prisoners of Roosevelt Island
Jun. 24th, 2008, 8:58 am
GEORGE: This a new couch?
DR. SELMAN: So what brings you back?
GEORGE: Well, it’s been six months.
HILLY: Well—
GEORGE: I’m a little groggy, I have to admit, because I had to work last night. Went to this benefit at the Central Park Zoo. What animal did you like best?
HILLY: This huge porcupine and the little fox and an owl that was just gorgeous.
GEORGE: And Al Gore was there.
HILLY: Whatever.
DR. SELMAN: Personally, I’ll leave the petting of wild animals to other people, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
GEORGE: And then as usual, I started getting a little rambunctious, didn’t want to go home, so I put Hilly in a cab round midnight, and ended up in some apartment sitting around with kids half my age playing this game I invented. read more »
Rowrrrrrr! Manhattan's Fat Cats Size Up Last Candidates Standing
Jun. 10th, 2008, 5:04 pm
At the Wildlife Conservation Society on June 3 at the Central Park Zoo, we found a creature with a steely gaze and a hefty, 235-pound-ish build: Al Gore.
The Transom imagined that the former vice president was thinking the following: What am I doing here again? read more »
Living La Vida Lohan: Long Island Mama Dina Subs for Deadbeat John Stamos
Jun. 3rd, 2008, 5:58 pm
On Friday, May 30, the Transom found reality-show star Dina Lohan, mother to actress Lindsay and three other children, at an event for Project Cuddle, a charity benefiting abandoned babies, in Port Washington, Long Island.
Hailing from North Merrick, Ms. read more »
George Gurley's Thoughts on Turning 40: Mmmh ... FreshDirect Better Than Sex!
Jun. 3rd, 2008, 10:45 am
I remember being 18 and watching three seniors dancing ecstatically to Talking Heads’ “Wild Wild Life” and feeling sorry for them. They were 21—their lives were practically over. Suckers.
I’m five hours away from 40.
When I turned 30, I was optimistic and totally deluded. So many possibilities. The inside of my mouth gets numb after a smoke these days. Probably be talking through a voice box, which’ll be great during interviews: “So. What. Are. You. Going. Through. Now?” read more »
Chasing Girls, Fleeing Sin: Me and My Mentor!
May. 20th, 2008, 10:52 am
I was about to turn 40 and something major had to happen. With three weeks to go, I found myself getting hammered at an exclusive nightclub. I looked through the haze and saw a roly-poly man who, like me, had no business being there. He was wearing glasses and a conservative blue suit; he looked like a giant sea turtle.
I watched as he sipped red wine in the corner. Soon we stepped outside to smoke. read more »
F**k You, I'm Mamet: Tough-Guy Writer Travels With Antic Entourage
Apr. 29th, 2008, 7:05 pm
On Friday, April 25, Redbelt, a riveting David Mamet cops-and-con-men drama set in the world of professional jujitsu, premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. The cool table at the after-party, held at the Honey nightclub on West 14th Street, included Mr. read more »
Gurley’s Streaming Consciousness: Take Judy Back, Mucinex Rocks—Some B12-Induced Emails I’d Like to Take Back
Apr. 22nd, 2008, 4:13 pm
Was in the presence of a stunning Latina last night. Staring at her shoulders and back. Also met Fiona Apple. She’s either shy or was averting her eyes from the sight of me, couldn’t tell.
Dude, how many days did you wait until you fired up some porn when you got your HDTV? Tempted to now, but Hilly’s in a Really Bad Mood. read more »
Who's That Girl? It's Rebecca Schiffman!
Apr. 15th, 2008, 10:25 pm
On the surface, Rebecca Schiffman appears to be a typical privileged New York City kid: She went to private schools (Spence and Dalton), Cooper Union for art school—and at 26, lives with her parents on the Upper East Side.
She’s also a darkly attractive downtown hipster chick who stays out late at the Beatrice Inn, Black and White, Norwood House and Lit. Where she goes is usually determined by whether a friend of hers is DJ-ing, and if they are, she’ll be in the DJ booth drinking free bourbon and Ginger Ale.
Hate her yet? read more »
Fore! The Birdie of the Beatrice Inn
Mar. 25th, 2008, 10:10 pm
Since Stephanie Wei graduated from Yale in 2005 and moved to New York, she’s worked at a law firm and an investment bank. The last time she scored her golf game regularly, her handicap was 0.9, and she guesses that these days she’d be a 4 or 5 from the men’s tees. Now she works at a public relations firm, a fine perch from which to make a stab at becoming a known quantity in Manhattan young society.
“I’m finding it,” she told me. “I’m 24 still, and this the first time I’ve ever had a break in my life. It’s always been go-go-go-go-go. I wanted to rule the world at, you know, 22.” read more »
Meanwhile, in Manhattan ... Comedian Paul Mooney Waxes Nostalgic at the Box
Feb. 26th, 2008, 7:14 pm
“I have only one thing to say,” said the actor Mickey Rourke at the Box on Sunday, Feb. 24. “I was just excited that Daniel Day-Lewis won.”
Mr. read more »
George and Hilly
Feb. 5th, 2008, 8:18 pm
The door to DR. SELMAN’s office was closed and Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” could be heard playing. At 7 p.m. DR. SELMAN waved them in; HILLY showed off her new engagement ring.
DR. SELMAN: Let me check it out in the light.
HILLY: O.K. Well, it’s too big, so I have a ribbon around it.
Dr. SELMAN: Wow, nice. read more »
Really Mellow Yellow: Donovan, the Sixties Singer, Survives Sound Glitch, Jams With Other Geezers
Feb. 5th, 2008, 7:51 pm
On Thursday, Jan. 31, hippie troubadour Donovan played at the Cutting Room on West 24th Street to a standing-room-only crowd. read more »
Gurley's Bucket List
Jan. 30th, 2008, 12:05 am
Continue to irritate and infuriate people as the years go by but figure out how to take it to the next level: Consciousness raising.
Get my head frozen right before I expire.
Spend a good seven hours with Madonna.
Once and for all, learn how to water-ski and hang-glide.
Stop taking Addies and Klonnies and get that morning wood back on a regular basis.
Get into a fight for a good reason—defending someone’s honor, stopping a crime in progress, anything that results in applause.
Compose a late-60’s progressive rock classic song with a lot of “ahhh’s” in the chorus and live off the royalties. read more »
A George and Hilly Christmas
Dec. 18th, 2007, 12:16 pm
DR. SELMAN: What’s happening?
GEORGE: I sat around in my pajamas all day, e-mailing high-school friends. I have this illusion that I’m actually working, because I am typing and concentrating, but we were just talking nonsense. Whether or not Star Wars is in fact a masterpiece, you know, Beatles versus Stones. The summer of ’87 comes up a lot. Girls. This girl a friend of mine slept with recently—he admitted that this girl’s “kid had a kid.” We refer to him as the Granny Humper. What else? Bongo drums. So I got into a fight with one of them. read more »
Don’t Blame It on Rio
Nov. 20th, 2007, 4:47 pm
The porn star Vanessa Del Rio burned herself into the corneas of masses of American males now in their 30s and 40s. read more »
Jackie, Oh!
Oct. 23rd, 2007, 5:24 pm
“I don’t think anyone’s had quite a life like I’ve had,” said fashion designer Jackie Rogers. read more »
Tea With Miss Coulter
Oct. 2nd, 2007, 6:40 pm
What scares Ann Coulter? Hint: It ain't the Democrats. read more »
George and Hilly
Sep. 25th, 2007, 5:38 pm
They're back! It's been four months since they've seen Dr. Selman. Where to begin? read more »
On the Tram
Sep. 4th, 2007, 5:13 pm
Sitting on the Tram to Manhattan from Roosevelt Island. Which is where I live now. Bet this is my 43rd Tram ride and it still feels like a roller coaster. read more »
Fierce People
Aug. 20th, 2007, 6:29 am
The Life and Times of Dirk Wittenborn. read more »
Top 10 Sexual Fantasies of Women at the Beatrice Inn
Jul. 31st, 2007, 3:19 pm
It was well after midnight at the Beatrice Inn, the exclusive nightclub on West 12th Street, when I decided to quiz its sophisticated clientele. read more »
Red Eye for the Straight Guy
May. 22nd, 2007, 7:06 pm

Greg Gutfeld has been fired or kicked upstairs in most every job he’s had. Will he be able to make Fox News safe for the squeamish New York media elite? read more »
George and Hilly
May. 15th, 2007, 6:25 pm
Barbara of Beekman Place
Mar. 25th, 2007, 7:00 pm
Young Manhattan in Love? That’s Amore, Ambien-Style!
Bungalowing Iraq
Feb. 18th, 2007, 7:00 pm
2003 Power Punk: John Hodgman
Dec. 17th, 2006, 7:00 pm
I Am Charlotte Bocly
Oct. 22nd, 2006, 7:00 pm
George and Hilly
Aug. 6th, 2006, 7:00 pm
HILLY: Nothing. read more »
George and Hilly
Aug. 6th, 2006, 7:00 pm
Ann Coulter Ecstatic: Enemies Stoke Sales— ‘They’re Like My Pets’
Jul. 2nd, 2006, 7:00 pm

Ann Coulter Ecstatic: Enemies Stoke Sales- 'They're Like My Pets'
Jul. 2nd, 2006, 7:00 pm
George and Hilly

George and Hilly
May. 7th, 2006, 7:00 pm
George and Hilly
Apr. 16th, 2006, 7:00 pm
Meet the Columnists Who Dish It Out
Apr. 16th, 2006, 7:00 pm
George and Hilly
Apr. 16th, 2006, 7:00 pm
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